Choosing a spouse in Islam is a big decision and one that should be guided by faith, values, and wisdom—not just feelings or attraction. Islam gives beautiful and practical guidelines to help you choose the right life partner for both this world and the Hereafter.
💍 Hadith on Choosing a Spouse
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So choose the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust (may you prosper).”
(Sahih Bukhari & Muslim)
🧠 This applies both ways—for men and women looking for a spouse.
✅ Qualities to Look For (Both Men & Women):
1. Deen (Religious Commitment)
- The top priority.
- They pray, have taqwa (God-consciousness), and strive to follow the Qur’an and Sunnah.
2. Good Character (Akhlaq)
- Honest, respectful, kind, forgiving, and emotionally mature.
- The Prophet ﷺ said: “If someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you (with a marriage proposal), marry him…”
(Tirmidhi)
3. Compatibility (Kafa’ah)
- Shared values, goals, lifestyle, and vision for marriage.
- Emotional and intellectual compatibility matter too.
4. Physical Attraction
- Islam encourages attraction but not obsession.
- You are encouraged to see each other (modestly and respectfully) before marriage.
5. Family & Background (optional but practical)
- Similar values or understanding between families can help avoid conflict, though it’s not a strict requirement.
🙏 Istikhara – Prayer for Guidance
Always pray Salat al-Istikhara when considering someone seriously. You’re asking Allah to guide you to what’s best, even if it’s not what you expect.
🚫 What Not to Prioritize Too Much:
- Just looks, status, or wealth
- Social pressure or trends
- Rushing because “everyone else is getting married”
🧕 For Sisters:
Islam emphasizes the importance of your consent. No one can force you into marriage. Your heart, voice, and mind matter.
👳♂️ For Brothers:
Look for a woman who will be a partner in deen, not just a homemaker. A good wife is a source of peace, strength, and growth.
🌿 Final Advice:
Marriage isn’t just about the wedding day—it’s about building a life together. Choose someone who helps you get closer to Allah.
